What Rubbish!

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We all love the serious implications that fashion holds. We love hearing how Vera Wang's collection was actually a reference to the Bolshevik revolution and how Dior's expertly crafted dresses were actually inspired from Madame Butterfly. Fashion is said time and time again to be rooted in world much deeper than the planet of cocktail dresses. It is said that fashion acts as art history, a cultural meterstick of our times, a way to connect our vanity with self reflection. This is all very moving and touching but there are some days when you want to cut the Fidel Castro speech and exclaim, "People, they're just clothes." For those days there's rubbishmag.com which is like fashion's cheeky, flippant cousin that reveals all the silliness that is weaved into fashion's dignified seams. Because when you strip away the bombastic adjectives and the cerebral analysis fashion is just a whole lot of fun.

The Price of Being Wise

Oh the price of being wise

It's not so nice
I look like a chipmunk
The medicine puts me in a weird funk
I don't think my doctor was very good
He didn't do the things he should
I miss solid food
And I'm developing a bit of an attitude

Oh Long Island How I Love Thee

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Long Island Wants to Secede
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Jason Jones in Iran

The Aesthetes Lexicon

Wikiphillia: (wikk-a-feelia) a severe disorder characterized by a dependence on wikipedia

I love Wikipedia. It must be noted that my feelings for this search engine are far more intense than most chemically balanced people. Unlike your average procrastinator student I don't appreciate wikipedia simply on the nights before a big research paper, I appreciate it everyday. It is a constant in my life, I mean if I had to choose my Verizon top five it would be definitely be number one. Because why would you want to call anyone else if you could find everything you need to know in one simple, user friendly, non elitist encyclopedia? I use Wikipedia for everything. What is the first thing I do when I hear a band I really like? I Wikipedia them and read about how their musical history, their collaborations and discography and criticisms of their recent albums. I may even Wikipedia each individual band member to read about their early life. It may just seem like I'm a stalker and want to read every bit of information that I can about a particular person. But the thing is my Wikipedia mania is not just utilzied for specific individuals, but anything that captures my interest. Just finished watching a movie or reading a book? I have to go Wikipedia it. I don't why I do this but it gives me a feeling of validity. My interest in something is suddenly seems much more legit and clarified after I read that page long excerpt. It is almost like a parent constantly filled with reassurance and authority. Now it has become more of a dependence really. I cannot even write anything without referring to it (I even wikipedia-ed the actual word Wikipedia). Something about seeing a source of information delegated to that one particular word or topic sparks my creative process, I guess it is comforting to see that what I'm writing about is grounded in something other than just my own musings.

Yet it is more than just an information source to me, it really is like a diary filled with the most obscure information, written in the handwriting of different people. Just yesterday I rediscovered a show (Life as we know it) on youtube that I had really enjoyed. It had gotten canceled after its first season. After watching a couple of episodes I had to Wikipedia it, for some reason I had to see that the talented actors of the show were somewhere. doing something and not teetering on the cliff of their "almost" big break. I guess that's the reason why I love Wikipedia so much, because it's comforting, it proves that nothing is truly obscure, that everything can be tangible, recorded and read. It gives you the sense that you find important is important to someone else as well. It's strange because many people say that the onslaught of all this new age technology has left people isolated from each other but I think it is the exact opposite, it makes you feel less alone. Now if only I could find Wikipedia's number in the yellow pages my top five would be set. But who needs the yellow pages? I'll just Wikipedia it.

A Grunt is Worth a Thousand Words

I've learned a lot of things from my dad. Inadvertently he taught me some of my most valuable life lessons, things such as how to properly combine colors in an outfit (my dad can pull off pastels like no other), how to iron your pants to perfection and how to make the perfect omelet. But I think the most important lesson he taught me was the power of the grunt (his lessons on how to be good person comes in as a close second on my list). The grunt is an integral part of the human language, used at the dawn of time by caveman and still used in conversations today. Yet the grunt that I am referring to is not the barbaric gurgle of yonder, it is a tool of civilized restraint, a tool that I feel is underutilized in today's invasive society.

My dad has always been the soft spoken type, using words sparingly and only when appropriate. When you ask my father a question there is not guarantee that you will receive an answer, most of the times you receive a murmur or a grunt as a response. I think it is due my dad's laconic nature that he is often viewed as slightly intimidating, since his air of indifference and coolness are in sharp contrast with most people's neediness to talk (albeit mostly about themselves) with other people . Due to the fact I have not inherited my father's deep throaty voice or a mustache (thankfully) I have found other ways to acquired his swagger of mystery. This is where my discovery of the inscrutable grunt began.

Now think about it, how incredible it would be if you could forgo any uneasy question with just a whirl of sound? In today's intrusive society people ask questions that step over the line of privacy. As someone with a sharing problem (includes objects and information) there are certain things that I just would rather to keep to myself. But if I say this as a response to a pushy question half the time I end up looking like some type of tight lipped freak show. Which is why I whip out the age old, never obsolete grunt. These are just some of the scenarios where the grunt can be useful"
Q. How old are you?
A. You know around...mmh.
Q.What did you get on that Calc exam?
A. Ah I think a got a mmmmh.

Now the grunt takes some practice, at first people might just think you are severely hungry and have just spotted something delicious. But when perfected, the grunt is an invaluable tool of circumspect speech. In age that glorifies magazines that reveal every aspect of a celebrity's life and in age that finds it acceptable to stalk other people's news feeds sometimes you just need to keep some things for yourself. Not to mention when you use less words people take the words you do say more seriously With the grunt you become a bit more alluring, acquiring a mystique that keeps people guessing and wondering about you. I plan to employ the grunt in many of my future conversations because everyone needs a bit a silence once in a while.

If I Were A Boy....

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I'd roll out of my bed in the morning
And throw on some purple and go

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a man scarf
I swear I'd be a better man

If I were a boy
I'd put myself first
And make my wardrobe rules as I go
Cause I know I could pull it off
Because I'm Chuck Bass

If I were a boy I would dress like Chuck Bass.

The Sharpest Tool in the Shed

I have been reckless in my use, perhaps even addicted. It’s quite disturbing actually. I try to find any reason to slip it into my daily life, filling the needles of my conversation with it, injecting it into the ending of every punch line. But alas, I just cannot stop using, using the word tool that is. It strikes that intangible balance of articulacy, straddling between the lake of coherence and the cliff of irreverence. Certain words encompasses more than just a definition, they cover a set of tendencies, a mindset and in the best cases aid in a plethora of insults/ridicule. Though these merits do not justify the overdose of my favorite noun it does shed light on the cause of my addiction. It is the felicitous nature of the word. But mostly it is the word’s equilibrium, the fact that it is funny enough to be mean and mean enough to be funny. Now the pleasure I derive in using this word may make me acerbic and sardonic. But these are symptoms I’m willing to live with. It’s my vice after all.

The Proper Way to Use/Identify a Tool is When You See (Male version)….
1. Anyone with beach blond tips
2. Typically anyone who hosts a dancing/singing competition show
3. Anyone who whitens their teeth in combination with a spray tan
4. Anyone who walks down an escalator. I mean if you really were in rush just use the stairs, no need to make the actual lazy people move out of their way for you,
5. Anyone who uses raises their eyebrows and/or thumbs up too much, particularly as an alternative to words
6. Anyone who strategically places the Da Vinci Code on their coffee table. We all know you never read it.
7. Anyone who shaves and deliberately leaves a chin beard. There is no need to sculpt your facial hair, it is not a Bonsai plant.

It's Peanut Butter and Jelly Time!

I never quite understand the mystical healing powers of a dancing banana until I came across this video. I still don't really get what a dancing banana has to do with peanut butter jelly but I guess a dancing jar of Peanut Butter just wouldn't be as funny or as therapeutic.

FML: Bringing Out the Voyeur in All of Us

Maybe it’s just the lack of vacations or the fact that we are all anxiously waiting for our college acceptance/rejection letters but one way or another March seems to be an especially trying month for some of us. Imagine my relief when I came upon the site that celebrates Crapdom at it’s finest. Fmylife is a website that post daily anecdotes of other’s people’s lives. I guess it has the same appeal of Perez Hilton or tabloids. For reading other people’s unpleasant moments is strangely therapeutic. Yet people ask whether this type of behavior is healthy. Feeling suddenly "uplifted" after reading about someone who got dumped for not being more like Edward Cullen does seems a little off kilter. However unlike tabloids these anecdotes are not about some exalted celebrity they are about one of us. These narrations are about the plight of the common man, just in an entirely more self-deprecating and vacuous manner. And without the literary symbolism, obviously. But after a bad day we could all use the comic relief. I guess these stories makes us feel like we’re not alone, in a completely sadistic, voyeuristic way of course.
www.fmylife.com

The Aesthetes Lexicon

Museoteric (muse-o-teric): one who favors only esoteric forms of music; a music elitist who judges an acquaintance's worth based on their artists list on iTunes

Most people have at least met one Museoteric in their lifetime. They are an interesting species to be certain, with their own language and social structure. So naturally one must be fully equipped to fend off these predators in their natural habitat. Getting lost in a conversation about the comparison between MGMT and LCD sound system? Go to the bottom of the food chain. Can’t decipher their arcane terminology consisting of words like “Discography” and “Pre-New Wave?” Get ready for the pecking order. Don‘t have any Conor Oberst on your iTunes? Be prepared to be ostracized, Pariah Carey. In short, when you come across this breed of animal expect to be feel severely inferior/unoriginal. And you thought listening to Cold Play made you cool.

Sincerely,
The Aesthetes Lexicon: Shedding Light on the Social Glossary One Word at a Time

And who said reading wasn't sexy?

If the last time you thought of science and sex in the same sentence was in 8th grade with your foxy biology teacher than your in for a pleasant (or pleasurable) surprise. Jena Pincott’s “Do Gentlemen really prefer Blondes: Bodies, Behaviors, and Brains- The Science Behind Sex Love and Attraction” uses biology, evolutionary psychology and neuroscience to answer all of our carnal questions in an easy to read format. Some of my personal favorite questions:
- Why when a couple first falls in love their brains are indistinguishable form those of the clinically insane?
- Are good dancers good in bed?
- How do the seasons affect our sex life?
In short Pincott uses science to shed light on what makes us tick sexually. One thing is for sure, I’ll never look out at a biology textbook the same way again.