Sunday, May 31, 2009

Scaredy Cats Anonymous

They say that "the brave may not live forever but the cautious do no not live at all." Well if that's the case than I haven't lived for about 15 years since the last time I remember not being fearful or cautious was at the tender age of three. I was the girl on the playground who didn't pump her legs on the swings because she was afraid of going too high, the girl who would avoid the jungle gym for fear of heights (and lack of upper body strength but that's besides the point). Hell, if you gave me a red wig and violet rectangular glasses I could well as be Chuckie Finster.

I must admit, it's not an easy life for us Scaredy Cats, everything becomes more worrisome, more complicated, normal proceedings become obstacles, things to endure rather than enjoy. It's not to say that scaredy cats don't have fun, it's just more of a process. And if fear is my addiction than clothes are like my nicotine gum. They take the edge off. Despite the fact that I am fearful, cautious and calculating to a tee I garner no apprehensions on what people will say about my outfits of choice. Sartorially speaking, I don't fear sticking out in the crowd . Which from a logical standpoint goes against everything I stand for. With clothes I am not cautious or fearful. I am clear thinking, decisive and strong minded. Even though I do not agree with many of the supeheros' outfits of choice (underwear as outwear? head to toe leather? capes in general?) I understand the empowerment of the costume. Batman didn't wear latex leather just to show off his hot bod nor did Superman wear visible underwear to just attract the ladies (though I'm sure those were top priorities). The function of these costumes was to transform them into another person, a more concentrated version of themselves. So even though I am not a superhero, at times I can identify with their fearlessness. It's almost as if the fabric acts upon me like a spider bite, transmuting me into a caricature of myself. Because even though by nature I am timid and shy, when I put those clothes on my body I become more confident and less contrived. It's as if in one area of my life I'm not thinking of what everyone else's reaction will be. For once, I'm just thinking about myself.

No comments: